PLease revise thesis statement to match example given in Essay

There’s only one thing I would tweak in this draft. In your Introduction, your thesis statement makes it sound like you’re going to talk about how to “establish the truth from past mistakes”. But the example you use later in the paper is about how to safely navigate your neighborhood. So I would revise the Intro to make it more closely match what happens later.

A proper paper introduction serves as a brief table of contents for your paper. It should include an explicit thesis statement, something like “In this paper I will argue that ___ because ____” or “I think that ___ because ____”. The ‘because___’ is especially important! A proper conclusion briefly summarizes what you just said, so it’s basically an introduction in reverse.

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